There are many reasons for contacting parents. The teacher contacts the parents due to ongoing problems with the child, (example not doing homework, misbehaving, absences) to say good things about the child such as outstanding progress or contribution or to discuss one-off problem, event. The parent likewise may contact you to express his/her concern about the child, to deliver a complaint or to simply congratulate you on your child’s progress. Believe me, these small compliments do happen! Then there is the ‘parent’s day’ that is all about an ongoing state of child’s progress and general contact.
Which is most common in your experience?
It is up to the teacher to build the relationship positively. It’s important to build up a feeling of “we are in this together”; “we both want the best for Johnny, how can we cooperate to get what we want?”
Look at the recommendations below and consider them in light of meetings with parents you have had yourself. See what you might change or add from your own experience.
*Listen! Although you may have initiated the discussion, your part should be receptive rather than active during the meeting. Read my tips on how to become a more effective listener. Talking a lot may give the impression of trying to dominate, which will produce defensive and negative reactions.
*Make it clear you are ‘only’ the teacher, it is the parent who is the major influence on the child.
*Suggest positive ideas about what they might do in the future, basing these on what is happening now.
*Don’t let their criticisms ‘get to’ you, don’t get defensive. Listen courteously to complaints, attend, make it clear you understand what they are saying, without necessarily agreeing. Try to make them understand your point of view, without presenting it as an opposition to theirs.
*Make it clear you respect them
Can you add any more to the list?
Look at what you need to work on and take it from there. Contacting parents doesn’t have to be a win all situation. In fact, it can be an eye opening experience from both sides. Join the discussion or feel free to leave a comment.
