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How to Handle Angry Parents in the Classroom

What to Do When an Upset Parent Comes to School

Dec 15, 2008 Jennifer Wagaman

Teachers need to handle angry parents respectfully and professionally while standing by their principles at the same time.

Although parents can often be a teacher’s best friend through invaluable help in the classroom, some parents can be a teacher’s worst nightmare as they come in angry with the teacher over something. There are things that you can do if a parent become upset that will prevent the situation from becoming worse, and protect you at the same time.

Stay Professional

Anita Voelker, professor at Messiah College, tells her students that “when a parent come loaded for bear, let him unload” (Reading Methods Class, October 2003). The idea being that if a parent is angry enough to come in and yell at a teacher, the first thing the teacher should do is let the parent speak his mind. As long as the parent is only yelling, and your immediate safety is not in question, allow the parent to vent because it may be that he is angry at the child, and simply need to get the frustration out.

As the parent yells, he may in fact yell himself out and end with an apology. In this case, it may be appropriate to forgive and forget the episode. Otherwise, you can either invite the parent to come in and discuss the issue, or politely ask the parent to schedule a conference when you have the time to discuss the issue in depth and then request that the parent leave. Becoming defensive will only escalate the issue, so remaining professional and calm will be the best thing you can do.

Talk to your Principal

When you have an angry parent, it is prudent to let your principal know what is going on. Be sure to provide as much information as possible so that the principal can advise you on what to do. For example, if the issue is related to student behavior, explain the specific behavior, your reaction to the student and what the parent is upset about. Take any advice your principal gives regarding the situation as well.

Document Everything

When a parent becomes angry about something, it is essential to document everything. Document each conversation you have with the parent, including notes, phone calls and face to face meetings. Document everything relating to the student – whether behavior, disciplinary action, interventions or grades. If possible, have a third party (another teacher preferably, or a teachers aid) witness any behavior and disciplinary action and sign off on what they saw.

If the issue is relating to student behavior, have your principal or guidance counselor, come in to observe your class, and provide a separate document detailing what he saw. To prevent some issues, you can sent home a list of class rules and expectations at the beginning of the year, and refer parents back to this list in response to any questions.

Meeting with an angry parent is never fun. Have your principal or another teacher join you in these potentially volatile meetings, and remember to keep your cool. Alerting your principal of the situation and keeping specific documentation of everything can also be helpful in diffusing the situation.

Learn more tips for common teacher issues.

The copyright of the article How to Handle Angry Parents in the Classroom in New Teacher Support is owned by Jennifer Wagaman. Permission to republish How to Handle Angry Parents in the Classroom in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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